Makeup
by Queenbee19
Summary: I now can accept myself for who I am, my beauty and flaws alike: perfection. But why do I still use makeup to cover up my flaws I claim I don't care about? Sequel to Perfection.
1. Makeup

Makeup

There comes a time, in every girls life, that they begin to ask themselves questions. Am I too fat? Am I pretty enough? Do I fit in? Questions of reassurance. Questions of am I good enough?

Today I turn 18, and there are few things I am sure of. One, is that I am not too fat. Joking. But seriously though, I'm pretty enough, I fit in. I know that, because even if I didn't it would be good enough for me. Because I've realized I'm perfect. In all of my faults and flaws, the acceptance justifies my perfection.

So now comes the time, in a young women's life, where the questions get harder. What am I going to do with my life? What is my purpose? Why do things happen to me? Questions to ponder, and think about as we move on from growing up as young girls and ribbons to young ladies with dreams.

But now I ask myself, not questions of what am I going to do with my life, because I've got time to figure that out. Theres only one thing I need to know. one thing that I will have to define, this year. My birthyear resolution. Who am I?

Thats the problem with girls today. None of us know who we are. So we cover our faces with makeup, and try to shape ourselves into who everyone wants us to be. Trying to cover up or flaws, weather it be a pimple or an annoying laugh. We try to make ourselves into the perfect girl, so that we can be liked by everyone. We date the right guys, we wear the right clothes. We add extra shimmer in our blush to mask the freckles of our unhappiness. We turn ourselves into this girl we aren't, until one day we look at our reflection and we have no idea who the f*** is the girl across from us.

When I look in the mirror, I see a pretty girl who's lost. A pretty girl who has hit acceptance, but now doesn't know what else is there to do. I love myself, I no longer have to ask if I'm good enough. Yet every morning I put on my makeup, to cover up my "flaws" that I claim I no longer care about. I give people fake smiles, to try to be the friendly girl I know that I'm not. I write my name Blake, on printed birthday invitations, but I feel like I writing for a stranger. I'm signing "With Love, Blake," but I feel like the Blake thats sending the invites is different from the Blake people will think of when they open them.

Who am I? One of the hardest questions I'll ever ask myself. A question that some scholars never find an answer to, because they spend their whole life looking. How do you define yourself, in a few words. How do you find your identity?

We're all guilty of identity theft. Because we're all basically trying to be different versions of each other. And if conformity was a crime, I think we would all be guilty. Falling over into the stereotype, because breaking the bonds would be too hard. We all do the same things, listen to the same "cool" songs, and shun anyone who doesn't. Because their just the thorn in our beautiful bush of roses. Our perfect manicured world.

I don't know who I am anymore. Because I don't know who the true me is. Is it the desperate girl, trying to please everyone? Is it the girl who wants to hide in her bedroom and never come out? Is it the girl who walks around like she has all the confidence in the world?

Is it the girl who just wants to be loved? The girl who hides her fears behind a manufactured smile? The girl who hates being something she's not, yet she can't stop? She can't break free.

If every girl threw out their makeup for one day, and didn't cover themselves with glitter and artificial feelings, would we all like each other better? Would we look in the mirror, and take a pride in our freckles of fakeness? Would taking off all the makeup, take away all the unhappiness? Would we be able to know who we really we're under it all?

So thats my question for my soul. My name is Blake, and I'm an 18 year old goddess. I'm beautiful, I'm flawed, I'm in love, and I'm perfect. But who am I?


	2. Why Do Fools Fall In Love?

Why do fools fall in love?

Why do fools fall in love? I ponder that question sometimes. Because I wonder. Why? What makes us have a deep affection for another person. What makes us feel those feelings inside? What makes us do stupid things for that special someone, just to get that bubbly feeling and smile so bright people around you can't help but smile. Why do we love?

And when we fall in love, why do we let that person have a hold over us? Why do we let them let us put them in front of us? I mean at first you we're single and happy, and next thing you know you've given up your future for this person. We hand our heart to the other person, and cross our fingers they won't break it. But sometimes that pinky promise isn't enough.

I broke a heart. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. But I didn't have to. And I did. It wasn't a big deal on my part, I was 15, but to him it was. I broke his heart, and I wasn't there to try to help him put it back together. I pinky promised I would be there, but when the time came I wasn't.

Aaron. You could define Aaron as a summer crush. I met him at the beach one day, and you know the story. The typical love story of meeting a guy, spending the day with him and before you knew it he wanted to meet up the next day. And we did. And the day after and after. And Aaron and I we're boyfriend and girlfriend, not like it was a big deal to me. I had already had brief boyfriends, no one that I connected with. But what I hadn't realized was that it was a bigger deal on Aaron's part.

Aaron started to like me more, as I started to care less. And once I got bored, I was ready to move on. I never had the need to date just because. And once we were out, on our date. We found ourselves at beach again, it seemed a terrible foreshadowing of beginnings and endings. Aaron tried to kiss me. I wouldn't let him. I wanted my first kiss to be magical, and he wasn't it. And that's when I didn't know how much I hurt him.

I never realized until much later, because the Aphrodite Cabin Rite of Passage states that you must break a boys heart. Once I was dating Michael, I panicked about breaking his heart. That was the first sign of how much I liked him. But then I was told I already passed. And I found out the affect I had on Aaron.

I guess you sometimes just don't know. I don't think you always know how important you are to other people. How much you matter to them. You think you know, but you never really do.

So then why do fools fall in love? And why do we love people, we don't think we deserve? We give our hearts away to them, before they even asked for it. We hand them the golden key to our life, before the contracts signed. We give them our version of the world, for them to want the sun instead.

I guess I'm lucky I have Michael. Though I was once a fool in love, now I've come to my senses. I handed him my heart, as soon as he kissed me. I shouldn't of, but I did. I prepared myself for heartbreak, and got lucky it stayed in tact. I gave him the key to my life, in this case my virginity, but the contract has yet to be signed. I gave him my version of the world, without asking first if he preferred the sun.

I'm lucky. Because when fools fall in love, usually it's an unhappy ending. Usually the fool is left, wondering where they went wrong and why they weren't good enough. While the other person continues their life without a clue. I'm just lucky we're both fools, and we both fell in love. And we both hold each other's hearts and we both gave each other the key. And neither of us want the sun, because we're each other's world.

Why do fools fall in love? I don't know. But you know its true love, when too fools fall together. That way they have each other to catch as they fall.


	3. Shoes

I was back to blonde.

I was done trying to be someone that I wasn't. I had thought, months ago, that if I dyed my hair brown I would look sexier. That changing something that had been apart of me since I was born, would make me more appealing. That somehow doing this was the answer to all of my problems.

I was back to not being utterly and completely stupid.

So I was done with being someone I wasn't. Done with trying to please others, people who didn't really care what color my hair was. Or what shoes I was wearing. Or if my nails matched my shirt. I was desperately asking people for approval, before pleasing myself first.

I was back to Blake.

I guess this just comes to show, how much we rely on the opinions of others. I mean, I never even really liked my dark hair. I just pretended to like it, so that others would like it to. Its stupid, how us girls these days do stupid things to try to be "prettier" and try to be more liked. Its just not worth it.

I like to think of our appearance as shoes. Every girl has a favorite pair. Every girl has a different taste in shoes. And we all have different sizes. And trying to squeeze a size 9 foot into some gods awful size 4 9 inch heels would just be a waste of time. But you think, since other girls look good in sparkly heels you should look good too. But you don't, you look silly. You look desperate to fit in, and you stand there barley being able to walk in a straight line and you wish you were back in your red converse.

And I was back in my red converse today. And It was a fitting occasion, being today was my 18th birthday.

I hated sharing, but I had to share this day with my twin Rylie. But this was one of the things I didn't even mind sharing anymore. I used to hate sharing the attention, but I grew to love it. We're twins, and no matter what happens we'll always be there to level each other out. Sharing was caring, and I was totally fine about that.

This morning we both met up in the Poseidon Cabin. Normally, I would vote my cabin or even the Aphrodite Cabin. But Rylie had no sisters, and I had one , so the revel would be more special if no one saw it.

And I was glowing in my pink pajamas. I was just feeling so excited there was no way to contain my smile. No way to contain the bubbly feelings that today would be the best day of my life. Ok maybe second best, meeting Michael was would always be my favorite.

We traded faces, doing each others makeup. Makeovers were obviously one of my favorite things, I loved making people reach their full potential. And when it came to making over Rylie, it was more then easy. I knew her base tone my heart, and which eyeshadows brought out her hair. Not to forget, Rye was the pretty twin. And once we were doing each other's makeup, Rylie looked even flawless. But somehow I felt, even if she didn't wear makeup at that moment we would still be just as beautiful.

"I cant wait for everyone to see you well us." I gushed, the excitement was just too much. I just couldn't contain the butterflies dancing around in my stomach.

"I can't wait to eat cake." Rylie admitted.

I flatly shook my head. "No cake until like a half hour after its cut. You dont want to look hungry at your own party. Plus frosting can be messy," It was just a rule of parties, and if I would follow any rules it would be those ones.

Rylie laughed, "You always were better at following those fashion rules.."

In returned with a grin, "How could I not follow those rules, I dont seem to follow any others." It was true, I hated feeling controlled. Rules we're so controlling. And rules we're mean to be broken.

"Oh I know, Blake. Who wants to follow silly camp rules like 'no feeding people to giant monsters.' I mean, where's the fun in that?"

I laughed "Do you know how many people I wouldn't mind feeding to a giant monster?" I began to formulate a list in my head starting with just about every annoying person at camp.

"Yeah, I can think of a few myself." Rylie smirked

"Good thing your a nice little Rylie and follow that rule" I added quickly, figuring I knew who she wanted to feed to the monsters. That person would most likely be my boyfriend Michael. Since he's kinda the whole reason the camp know's we're pregnant, I can see why she still hates him. Still, I'll admit being between my sister and my boyfriend is awful. Their like my two favorite people, I maybe love them more then I love myself. Which is saying something.

We switched places, and now I was the one in the makeup chair. "Im like so excited for tonight I'm just going to explode!" It was an understatement. I felt my blonde hair, and flipped it back behind me.

"Try to hold it in," Rylie smiled, "we want no babies exploding out!"

I hold in a giggle "Yeah that wouldn't be good, a little early and plus then we would have the same birthday that can't happen!" I already shared with her, I couldn't share with my daughter too.

"Of course not, I already share my birthday with you! Nobody else gets in on my action."

"Exactly" I agreed "Except the other way around it was my birthday and you decided to pop out before me, stealing my day"I teased back.

"Oh yeah, so sorry I had to come out first and steal your thunder."

"Thank you, apology excepted"

And with that, i was reminded to stop moving my mouth as she did my lip liner. But really I think Rylie was just letting me win that one. Then she finished my makeup, and we both got ready to look at each other's dresses.

1. 2. 3.

When we unzipped our respective garment bags, both of our blue eyes widened in intendical looks. Both marveling at the beauty of the other's gown.

Rylie's gown was a modern take on a classic gown, in a beautiful cream/gold. With then a llght red lace and flowers through out the gown, highlighting her tiny waist. It was so classic, yet so pretty, it was definitely perfect for Rylie.

I however, went a bit more predictable. A light blush pink gown with lace and beautiful beading at the top. Over to the left side , sat a few pretty roses before the intricate bottom of the dress sashaed itself down to the floor.

The reaction to each other's dresses, consisted of identical gasps and gushing over the others while secretly liking your own better.

Because dresses were still like shoes. Everyone had a pair, everyone had a taste and everyone had a size. And my point again, if Rylie tried my dress and I wore hers, it would've been weird. We wouldn't of looked ourselves.

So I decided that whatever would happen tonight, would be perfect. Not because I looked pretty, not because I would get x ammout of compliments. Because I would make it perfect. I would allow myself to let the night take itself to whatever it wanted to be. I was back to being Blake. And now that I was Blake, I was going to live everything out to the fullest. You never know what's in store for tommorow.


	4. Royalty

Royality

When I was younger, I dreamed of being a princess. I dreamed of one day wearing the glittery crown and the honor that came with it. I dreamed of all of the smiling faces as I waved at the crowd, people who adored me. People who respected me, for my brains and beauty alike. My princess dream, was just a fantasy. Something I thought about but never really went for. But at this moment, I felt like it wasn't just a dream. I was living it.

My hand was intertwined with that of my sisters, as I squeezed it once before we entered the ballroom, draped in a regal gold and ivory. The chandeliers were twinkling above the heads of my friends, family, and the rest of the camp I really didn't know but invited anyways.

The room stayed silent for a moment, which I tell myself was everyone in awe of us: Rylie and I. We looked like princesses, royalty, with our golden hair and our glittering crowns. Then everyone clapped, which wasn't the perfect cheering in my dream but was good enough.

We flawlessly made our way down to where everyone was, as I held my breath and continued to smile. Everything was going great. I spoke, well thought too soon.

In a blue flash, Rylie's father, Poseidon King of the Seas, appeared in the center of the ballroom. The clapping had it a sudden stop, and you could literally hear a pin drop in that ballroom.

Then my dad appeared, with my mom draped over him. For once, even I was speechless. Millions of tiny questions buzzed around in my head but my lip-gloss covered lips had no way of opening. So I just stood there, holding hands with Rylie, waiting for whatever was to happen to happen.

My dad looked to both of us, "Hey there twins... We have an announcement. Unlike my brother's child who was unready at his 18th birthday, you are both prepared to fulfill your destinies. Rylie, although you're not my child, you are first. You shall be as you are, the Goddess of Dramatic Love, Intrigue and Gossip. Blake: you are as you always have been; the Goddess of Perfectionism, Competition and Confidence. But that isn't all."

I didn't even know what to think. My brain just kinda stopped, the moment was really too much for me. I finally knew…what I was meant to be. It all of the sudden hit me, that there was a reason I was so hung up on being perfect. Why I was so competitive. Why I was described by others as "self-centered" I wasn't. I just had all made sense, in those few seconds.

Then as my head was finally catching up to my heart…who was busy running away, before my eyes appeared the rest of the Olympian Gods. And suddenly I was really really worried. What did we do this time?

"It is time you learned of the plans we have." Spoke Apollo, who might I add is pretty attractive for an old god.

I tried to prepare myself for what he was going to say. Maybe it was something good, like another birthday gift. Maybe it was punishment, for all of the crap I've done. Maybe it was just a joke?

Apollo looked to all of us, and began reading from something memorized in his head.

"We set a mission out as a test

The three chosen were sent on a quest

You came back alive, what more could we want

And as survivors you didn't flaunt

We have reached a time where we must leave

We've grown tired of Earth, on the 21st eve

On the mark of the day these godlings were born

New gods shall rise and old will be forlorn

With you we place our powers, beware

They come with a risk, be sure to take care

The God of leadership and power has made a decree

his daughter Blake shall fulfill destiny

For God the seas and God of the storm

Rylie, his daughter, shall take up the form

The decision of Hades, God of the dead has been made

Zander, will be a protector of each Shade

As for the rest, new powers to share

As I call out your name, come into our care

To Danielle we give all the powers that grow

To Caleb we gift the Sun Chariot and the gift of the Arts

To Devyn we present the Moon Chariot and the powers of Archery

To Lizzie we give intelligence and creativity

To Chance we give powers over what he already has; parties and drinking

To Michael we give Battle Strategy and War

To Warner we gift Athletics and Thievery

To Wade; Communication and Technology

To Lydia we present her with powers of Love and Beauty

These Twelve will replace us in 3 years time.

The gods of old will leave this earth

And you shall rule this hearth"

I don't remember much after that. Because all I remember was me blacking out.

* * *

Well!

I hope you liked this chapter. But if you hated it...leave a review. But if you liked it leave a review and tell me how much you did. Dont forget to read Blake's sister series: Broken and Reflection by Can'tBeatCandor.

xoxo Queenbee19

P.S: Since we're on the topic of shipping...Blichael or Make (Blake and Michael)

Unless your a Chake fan (Chance and Blake)!

haha joking. Sort of.

Ok bye now :)


	5. New Air

New Air

And I'm stuck between, who I am, who I want to be, and who I should be.

I should be that girl, that everyone looks up to. When I walk by, people should look at me. And when I speak, people should listen. Not because they have to, because they want to. And when I lead, people should follow. And when I do something great, people should be inspired to do something themselves.

But then I think of who I am. Not everyone looks up to me, not everyone even likes me. Honestly, I shouldn't expect everyone to like me. But some people do look up to me. And when I walk by I walk with a sense of pride. When I open my mouth to speak, some people listen. Weather or not they take me seriously is debatable. But when I lead, people do follow. And the rare times I do something great, other then perfect my makeup, I know that my actions trickle in the minds of those who know me. And they can think "If Blake can do it, I can sure as hell do it better," not that anyone can do it better then me.

And now I am stuck, because for all my life I figured it never mattered. I knew there was a line between who I was and who I was supposed to be, but I never walked close enough to the line to see how far I was. I never thought it would make any difference if I was on the line or miles away. But now it does.

The rest of my 18th birthday was enjoyable. I danced in my gown, and felt like a princess. As a floated around to greet everyone, there was a new sense in the air. We could all feel it dangling over us, the responsibility we would take on in a few short months. Some of us we're eager to talk, others of us tried to avoid it.

But I couldn't hide from the fact that things we're going to change. Even later in the night when I was with Michael, we knew that unspoken things had changed. Now that he was going to become a god in 3 years time, I felt like there was weight lifted off my shoulders. I always thought, that I would never fall in love because I would have to watch them age. And that I would never commit enough to make someone a god myself, because if it didn't work out it would be my fault.

But now he was going to be immortal. And suddenly doors had opened for our relationship. No words we're spoken on the topic of the future, but our exchanged smiles we're enough to know that things between us had just taken a step. And there was no going back.

Still, dangling over my head keeping my thoughts from being free. That suddenly that line would mean something. I was to take my dads spot and rule over heaven and earth in just three years. And he expected me to actually do a good job. He had the confidence in me, that I was the right choice. He could've let Caleb or Lizzie have the privilege, but he chose me.

I didn't know why. Part of me did, but I couldn't believe it. I couldn't convince myself that I was the right choice to lead us all in into a golden age. To do what my father did before me, and make him proud. I couldn't believe in my heart that the burden deserved to go to me.

Me, the girl who got pregnant at 17. Me, the girl who has been dating the camps "Bad boy" since she was 15. Me, the girl who antagonized her sister, not knowing the full story. Me, who endlessly teased her older brother, again not knowing how what was going on. Me, the girl who was never that nice anyways. Me, the girl who's twin sister would do a much better job then me anyways.

So that leaves me between who I am, and who I now have to be. I am Blake, 18 year old goddess. But I have to be Blake, heiress to Olympus, earth and the heavens, and mother of one.

But I want to be the girl, that makes her family proud. The girl that people can come to, not in fear of ridicule. The girl that people look up to. The girl with self-confidence, beauty, and perfection. The girl who gives people hope. The girl who represents everything a women should be. The girl who loves and loves. The girl who loves herself as she is.

And suddenly I am stuck, between who I am, who I want to be, and who I should be.

* * *

Hope you liked this little chapter. Anyways if you did I would love it if you left a review with any critique, I love being able to get better as a writer. Thanks!

xoxo Queenbee19


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